Category Archives: Just for fun

24 Sep

Providing Friday Proofs to MySQL Consultants

In the MySQL world, I am surrounded by some of the best database consultant, it brings them immense joy about having a “Friday”, so much so that they cannot believe that it actually is a Friday. Regardless of what they see on their watches and calendars, it becomes a crucial task of the day to prove it. Prove it technically that it actually is a Friday.

This blog post is my attempt to share the proofs of existence of a “Friday”.

Using MySQL datetime function: dayname

MySQL [(Kedar)]> select dayname(now());
| dayname(now()) |
| Friday         |
1 row in set (0.000 sec)

Running system command from MySQL prompt

Read More
01 Feb

Mad WWE Fan Destroying Kid With Chokeslam | Don’t try this

There are a lot of speculations around WWE and its effect on kids.  I personally love watching the Stars and their action and dedication towards the World Wrestling Entertainment! Though many people out there do oppose the game. They say, it increases the violence in people and fan following.

The show do warn every-time: ‘Don’t try this’ at home or at school!! But you cannot control unguided rockets 🙂

It goes like people start following the WWE stars; Kane, Undertaker, John Cena and the list goes on…
soon end-up in copying them without knowing the realities and hard-work behind! and ultimately ruining the WWE’s name.
In such cases if the problem is not addressed well & the child is not taken care of, it’s really a problem.
When the child grows up with such mentality, it will be something extremely tragic as happened below…

Check out how a mad WWE Fan, who is so much inspired by Kane and his Chokeslam, that he literally destroys the baby.

So mind it always…


29 Sep

Top 10 Suresh Kalmadi-CWG Jokes-Delhi 2010

A lot of SMSes and Jokes I’ve received and read online about Mr. Suresh Kalmadi and CWG. Well, it’s quite a bit serious matter but such a huge mess gave us chance to make fun of CWG.

Well as far as I see Mr. Kalmadi’s work profile I really doubt someone who has worked in Indian Airforce for almost 11 years with eight medals in his career can get involved in such a big scam!!
I do not doubt on politics anyways.

Last night I heard Mr. Suresh Kalmadi’s interview about CWG; who was ready for any kind of Judicial Inquiry and was conveying “Hang me if I’m found guilty”. Well if it’s corruption it’s not just one man!! We all know…

I’m not sure what’ll be the actions taken to all this huge corruption, irresponsibility and risking pride of India after the Common Wealth Games!!

Here you go with TOP 10 CWG – Kalmadi Jokes.

“Breaking news…. A.R. Rehman song dropped from CWG …Instead, Kalmadi will dance at the opening ceremony, to the song. Delhi badnaam hui darling tere liye!”

Prince Charles is thanking kalmadi and is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Cwg Delhi, this may be his last chance to become the king!

Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing thanx to Kalmadi. Unlivable conditions and fear for their safety

It’s amazing but true. If u rearrange the letters “SIR U MADE LAKHS”, U get “SURESH KALMADI”

Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
Kalmadi: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)


“delhi cm Sheila Dixit to Kalmadi: Delhi badnaamhui darling tere liye!”. “Sadkein bhi jam hui, CWG tere liye”.

Next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games

“A collapse a day keeps the athletes away”, Kalmadi mantra. Thus giving more scope to Indian Athletes to Win.

In the name of Ayodhya, recent Bulk SMS ban was for preventing people forwarding ‘Kalmadijokes’.

Suresh Kalmadi: We have a strong bid for Olympics.

Share if you have more 🙂
They are jokes and should be taken as jokes!!

06 Mar

Top Secret of 2010-Got Revealed-Watch video free

Yes the video will reveal the top most secret of 2010!! The video will give you the Hero…

  • How can you, I, our friends really trust our selves that what we see on TV and hear on radio is true?


  • How do we know that our openions are really our own?



  • How can we be sure that the weak voices are heard and not scared into silence?


This video will tell you how.

There is one person we can think for all this.

The person will give us new perspectives, giving us choice, gives us alternative to uniformity and short term thinking.

We owe this person for making an ordinary day into something special…

Watch em NOW!!

Spread across… Let every one know…

Do you wanna know How? Comment here!!

06 Feb

Jokes Fun One-liners: Anti-bored Dose – I

It’s been long I have read jokes online, but last week I happen to read a few best jokes.

Mostly these are all realted to technology / IT / Computers and persons in those fields but each joke is hilarious.
Few are very old and you might have heard em many times but they’re must recall 🙂
Along with that there are oneliner / funny quotes included as well..
Have a great time…. Share more if you have better…so read ON…

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.
“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”
The man below replies, “You must work in management.”
“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how’d you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

One SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, “Can I join you?”.

A Physicist, an Engineer and a Tester were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said “We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed”.
The engineer said “I think I’ve got a few spanners in the back. I’ll take a look and see if I can work out what’s wrong”.
The Tester said “Why don’t see if it’s reproducible?”

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Q: “Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
A: Inheritance

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
“Hey, don’t you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn’t you see the giant warning on the box?!”
“That’s OK” says the guy, puffing casually “I’m a computer programmer”
“So? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“We don’t care about warnings. We only care about errors.”

In the 1960’s the KGB was very interested in learning everything possible about the American space program, sending all sorts of spies to find every possible piece of information.
One afternoon, a breathless spy returned to headquarters with a page of paper in his hand, excitedly shouting to his superior, “Comrade! Comrade! The Americans are using Lisp to write their rocket launching software!”
The commander was skeptical. “How do you know?”
“I broke into their research lab and stole a page from the teletype machine! It’s not the whole program, but it’s the final page and contains the concluding logic of the program! See for yourself!!!!”
The commander looked at the page and smiled:


“Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I’ll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems.”

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

A novice programmer was explained the meaning of RTFM. He showed up the next day saying: “So I went out and bought the Kama Sutra. Now what?”

Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”

Two threads walk into a bar. The barkeeper looks up and yells, “hey, I want don’t any race conditions like last time !”

The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is 1000 bytes while a programmer is convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, the fourth an eighth, and so on.
The bartender looks at the line going out the door,turns to the line and says “you guys suck!”.
Then he pours two beers and walks away.
[A borrowed explanation to above joke!! 😉 Mathematical explaination :– The solution to such a problem is s = (a1)/(1-k). Where a1 is the first number, and k is the constant rate of increase or decrease. k<1 means convergence, so you get s = (1)/(1-0,5) = 2

Why doesn’t C++ have a garbage collector?
Because there would be nothing left!

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”

Yo mamma so fat that not even Dijkstra is able to find a shortest path around her.

Hardware: The part of a computer that you can kick.

IT is a funny industry. Can you think of any other group of people that would make an acronym as an excuse to say sexy (SCSI) and have everyone mispronounce it as scuzzy.

So which is your favorite?

-- Kedar Vaijanapurkar --